The singer announced her pregnancy to the world earlier this month, asking fans to “be gentle” with her as she navigates the next several months as a mom-to-be.

Related: Jessie J reveals pregnancy loss after deciding to ‘have a baby on my own’

“Honestly, ya girl just wants to ugly cry in public in a catsuit eating a chocolate-covered pickle with no questions asked,” she wrote on Jan. 6.

But it’s the video she posted recently showing clips of her experience enduring her first trimester that really resonates with anyone who’s experienced those…unique first 12 weeks. Because for many people, the exhaustion, nausea, raging hormones and general anxiety are A LOT to deal with.

“I was warned about that first trimester and it was WOOFY WOOF,” Jessie J captioned the video. And uh, yeah, that about sums it up.

Related: Jessie J talks about miscarriage for the first time: ‘I’ve never felt so lonely in my life’

In the video, she’s puking up a storm—in toilets, barf bags, trash cans, you name it. She’s exhausted, nauseous and also overjoyed during some shots. It’s all very real, and very relatable.

“I can’t even explain to you how sick I feel,” she says at one point. “Look at the state of me.”

Last May, Jessie J opened up about her 2021 miscarriage for the first time during an emotional episode of Steven Bartlett’s podcast, “The Diary of a CEO.” She described her experience as “the most honest, raw, emotional, candid, vulnerable conversation” she’s ever had publicly.

“I felt like I’d been given everything I’d ever wanted and then someone had gone, ‘But you can’t have it’,” she described at the time. “When I got home that night and I lay there, I’ve never felt so lonely in my life…I just remember laying there, knowing it was still there, but it wasn’t there.”

Anyone who’s experienced pregnancy loss can identify with the pain she describes. Which makes it all the more bittersweet that she’s gotten through the first trimester of her current pregnancy—vomit and all.

There were dentist-approved pacifiers. A top-of-the-line bottle warmer. The swaddle that hundreds of moms swear by. More baby stuff that wiggled and jiggled and rocked than I want to admit. And of course, the icon: A brand new rocking chair. 

Then I had my daughter, and I didn’t use any of it. She didn’t want to wiggle, jiggle or bounce, I never opened the bottle warmer, and we used the bassinet for one week before moving her to her crib. I breastfed her everywhere except the rocking chair. 

I was a new mother, sitting alone on the floor with my baby in a room full of gadgets, trying to figure out how I might take a shower or eat a meal.

Baby registries cater to the infant, not the mother 

In the first year after birth, the average family in the U.S. spends $14,000 on their baby, and according to BabyCenter, most moms make more than one registry. One registry features, on average, upwards of 120 items for the baby—and often not a single item for the mother.  

In the early days and weeks at home with my daughter, I realized there were plenty of things I actually needed after giving birth, but none of them were on my registry or the blogs or must-have lists. 

I needed support from another person and supplies to help my body—and stitches—heal. 

For an entire year after giving birth I lacked solutions for so many challenges no one had prepared me for: hair loss, skin changes, hormonal fluctuations, nutrient depletion, exhaustion. 

Related: Your essential registry guide 

The vast landscape of baby products seemed endless, but the new-mom essentials I actually needed were nowhere to be found.

Among those missing essentials: 

A lactation consultant to take a look at my unsuccessful latch and help me fix it, and to reassure me that what I was experiencing was normal as I iced my extremely engorged breasts. 

Someone to come cook me a nourishing meal and hold my baby for 2 hours so I could sleep. 

Nutrients and nutrition to heal from major surgery and support my body as it produced breastmilk. 

Answers to all the questions I had no one to ask. 

I wanted to take care of my body, but it felt like I didn’t have time to care for myself and my baby, so my own health became my last priority. I needed somebody to help clean the damn bottles, burp cloths, and sheets, but mostly I needed rest and the tools to help navigate the enormous emotional shifts that had me questioning who I was daily, and wondering how I got there and if I would be a good mother. 

Related: 22 baby shower gifts for moms that make them feel loved & supported 

Moms need more than cute stuff

I was determined to help make this experience better for other moms, which is why I created Anya, a company that supports mothers through the postpartum journey with guidance and product solutions to help with the complex and inherently challenging period after childbirth. 

The baby product market—with its gadgets and gizmos aplenty—is a $74B industry, yet the emerging ‘new mom’ product market is so nascent there is currently no published market size. 

Moms aren’t being honestly informed and prepared for the emotional and physical challenges they’ll face in the first year after childbirth, and they certainly aren’t being provided with solutions. 

But research by the NIH shows a direct correlation between the health of a mother and the health of a child. When a mother receives proper nutrition and care, surrounded by a loving community to help care for her, she has the potential for more energy, a better chance of meeting her breastfeeding goals, less risk for mental health challenges, and better long-term health and well-being.

I created Anya because I know firsthand that what parents really need to bring home a newborn isn’t cute stuff, it’s critical support and care.  

It’s time to normalize putting moms on the list. 

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What is well understood is that nausea and vomiting can take a toll, and while various nutrients and herbal remedies may help (like vitamin B6 and ginger), a new study has found that taking probiotics may significantly reduce symptoms of morning sickness in the first and second trimester.

Morning sickness and the microbiome

Probiotics are beneficial bacteria that colonize the gut lining. In pregnancy, a time of major hormonal shifts, elevated levels of estrogen and progesterone can change the microbiome composition, directly affecting how the gastrointestinal tract functions. It can mean a marked difference in which foods you want to eat—and which you can no longer stomach, likely as a result of the nausea, vomiting and constipation that can ramp up quickly. 

Morning sickness can start as early as week 6 of pregnancy and can last as long as week 22, says Dr. Ranae Yockey, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and program director of the midwifery services at Northwest Community Hospital, to Motherly. 

Read more: When does morning sickness start?

But the effects of taking probiotics on morning sickness had never been examined—until now. In a study led by researchers at University of California Davis, 32 participants who were between 14 and 21 weeks pregnant took a probiotic supplement twice daily for six days, then took two days off, and repeated the cycle once more. The study lasted 16 days and was published in the journal Nutrients. 

The probiotic supplement used in the study consisted of 6 strains, but most were of the Lactobacillus species, which has been well studied for its beneficial GI effects. 

By asking participants to record their symptoms 17 times per day for the duration of the study, the researchers were able to assess if probiotics reduced instances of nausea and vomiting, as well as constipation and time spent feeling nauseated. They also asked participants to rate their quality of life. 

Probiotics use was associated with lower levels of morning sickness

Though the sample size was small and the study was short in duration, the results were impressive: Probiotic intake reduced episodes of nausea by 16%, reduced the hours participants spent feeling nauseated by 16%, and reduced vomiting episodes by 33%. Constipation was also improved, and study participants reported a higher quality of life in general, noting that they had less fatigue and were better able to manage their work and social commitments.

“Nausea, vomiting and constipation during pregnancy can significantly diminish the quality of patients’ lives. Once nausea and vomiting during pregnancy progress, they can become difficult to control, and sometimes the patient even needs to be hospitalized,” says Albert T. Liu, lead author for the study and a professor of obstetrics and gynecology, in a press release. 

Related: 5 ways to protect your baby’s microbiome after birth

The researchers also analyzed fecal matter from participants both before and during the study, and found that those whose fecal matter contained lower amounts of bacteria carrying bile salt hydrolase, an enzyme that makes bile acid to help absorb nutrients in the digestive tract, had more pregnancy-related vomiting. Taking probiotics increased levels of the bacteria that produce bile salt hydrolase, which may explain the mechanism behind why the probiotics were correlated with less vomiting. 

They also found that vitamin E levels were associated with lower vomiting levels, and that taking probiotic supplements increased vitamin E levels in fecal matter.

“This research provides key insights about the impact of gut microbes on gastrointestinal function during pregnancy. Our gut microbiota explains why we [eat] what we eat, and why bacteria-generated metabolites and products have a huge impact on our health,” says Vice Chair for Research Yu-Jui Yvonne Wan, a professor in the Department of Pathology and Laboratory Medicine and senior author on the study, in a press release.

Are probiotics safe for pregnancy?

While there isn’t a lot of data on their usage in pregnancy, probiotics are generally considered to be safe for use in pregnancy and lactation. “There is no reason they shouldn’t be used—they are going to stay in the gastrointestinal tract, not affect the baby in the uterus,” says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, an OB-GYN and clinical professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Sciences at Yale University School of Medicine. 

But because the research on the benefits of probiotics for use in pregnancy is limited, if you have significant nausea and vomiting, be sure to check in with your birth provider to discuss treatment options, suggests Dr. Minkin.

Probiotics may confer other benefits throughout pregnancy and birth, too, not just in the early stages. They have been shown to prevent some infections in pregnancy and prevent preterm delivery. 

Dr. Minkin notes that where probiotics could be especially helpful for prenatal health is when they’re used before conception. “There is some literature that shows that a condition known as bacterial vaginosis [BV] can lead to preterm labor. However, there is good data to show that it is best to tend to this problem before pregnancy. One measure that can help is to use probiotics which are vagina-friendly pre-pregnancy. And one probiotic that women can turn to is Pro-B, to try to reduce the incidence of getting repeat episodes of BV,” she notes.

“So before pregnancy for someone with a history of recurrent bacterial vaginosis, treating with Pro-B may well be advantageous.”

Here are a few of our favorite probiotics

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Sources

Baldassarre ME, Palladino V, Amoruso A, Pindinelli S, Mastromarino P, Fanelli M, Di Mauro A, Laforgia N. Rationale of probiotic supplementation during pregnancy and neonatal period. Nutrients. 2018 Nov;10(11):1693.

Elias J, Bozzo P, Einarson A. Are probiotics safe for use during pregnancy and lactation?. Can Fam Physician. 2011;57(3):299-301.

Liu AT, Chen S, Jena PK, Sheng L, Hu Y, Wan Y-JY. Probiotics Improve Gastrointestinal Function and Life Quality in Pregnancy. Nutrients. 2021; 13(11):3931. doi:10.3390/nu13113931

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Reading her statement of “Perhaps we should have waited until we were further along…,” my thoughts are this: No. She did it the way that felt right for her. She wanted to share the news. The idea of loss didn’t stop her, and I find that courageous.

I am reminded of how I handled the announcement of my own pregnancy. Without even knowing, I gave in to the silent culture of waiting until I was “in the clear” to share with my family and friends—that being past the first trimester of my pregnancy. 

Related: These powerful photos are changing the way we talk about pregnancy & infant loss

Three long, lonely and mind-racking months.

I vividly remember having a conversation with my husband about how we were going to share our news. He was overseas for a deployment and during one of our phone calls, we both agreed to wait until I was out of the first trimester and in the second (the socially agreed-upon “safe zone” for your pregnancy). “That way, if anything happens, we wouldn’t have gotten our family and friends excited for nothing.”

I didn’t understand what I was saying then. But now, I realize that I was feeding into the social norm of the need to wait to announce your pregnancy. The weight and sadness of my statement hit me: Getting our family and friends excited for nothing. 

That’s when I realized that I needed to change my perception around pregnancy announcements. 

Pregnancy is a vulnerable journey. The truth is, no one knows what is going to happen.

Because even if you announce when you first find out and your pregnancy ends in loss, you sharing with others was NOT for nothing. It was to share the thrill and the excitement with your loved ones. It was with hope that you would carry full term. It was with the desire to have a community cover you and support you. 

I wish I had shared the news with my close circle sooner. Because while I was bubbling with excitement, I was also dealing with the most debilitating fear and anxiety I had ever experienced.

Pregnancy is a vulnerable journey. The truth is, no one knows what is going to happen. But that shouldn’t keep you from sharing. Because the more people you let in, the more people you have to cover and support you… no matter what the outcome is.

Related: What to say when your friend has a miscarriage

I’ve seen so many women around me experience miscarriages: my mother, my sister, close friends. And though I have not experienced one, that doesn’t mean that I don’t share sympathy for those who have. And that doesn’t mean that I never will. I have seen women show an unspeakable grace and vulnerability through their loss, such as Britney Spears, and that has shaped my perception of how we as a society need to change how we handle pregnancy announcements and pregnancy loss.

We’ve created this culture around waiting to share pregnancy news—in case of loss—which has taken the initial joy out of the news and makes those first few months scary and disheartening for women.

You don’t have to go through pregnancy alone. You don’t have to go through a miscarriage alone.

I know that loss is a wound that never truly closes. But it is also something women shouldn’t carry alone. A village starts being built before a child is born. And so why not gather that village around you to be your support no matter what happens?

In Britney’s pregnancy announcement, she made the bold decision to share her joy with the world. When I see other women around me announce early on, I smile now. I no longer question why they shared at four weeks or six weeks. I celebrate their excitement with them. I join their community and extend myself as part of their support system, no matter what the outcome ends up being. Because that’s what we need to do. Wrap ourselves around each other—through joy and through grief. 

The decision of when, how and with whom to share your pregnancy isn’t society’s. It shouldn’t be dictated by Googling “How early is too early to announce my pregnancy?” It is your decision. And yours alone.

You don’t have to go through pregnancy alone. You don’t have to go through a miscarriage alone.

So if you decide to wait until after you’re out of the first trimester, I respect your decision. There are many reasons you may want to wait.

But if you decide to share the news early on, I respect your decision also. Because there are many reasons you may not want to wait.

And if like Britney, you too, decide to keep trying after loss, I support you.

It is your journey. It is your decision. I respect that. And others should, too.

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Using a couple vials of blood from the mother’s arm, noninvasive prenatal screening, or NIPS tests, are considered much less invasive than diagnostic tests like amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling, both of which come with a small risk of miscarriage. 

“While health care providers widely use NIPS tests, none have yet been authorized, cleared, or approved by the FDA,” states the agency in a press release. “The accuracy and performance of NIPS tests have not been evaluated by the FDA and these tests can give false results, such as reporting a genetic abnormality when the fetus does not actually have one.”

What is a NIPS test?

Initially designed to look for Down syndrome, NIPS tests, sometimes called noninvasive prenatal testing (NIPT), are screening tests, which means they can only report the risk of a fetus having a certain genetic abnormality. “They are not diagnostic tests, which are generally used to more definitively confirm or rule out a suspected genetic abnormality,” states the FDA.

Are NIPS tests accurate?

NIPS tests do have a high level of accuracy when screening for Down syndrome (98% to 99%), but when used to screen for incredibly rare chromosomal disorders, known as microdeletions, they may be wrong 85% of the time on average, reports The New York Times.

Put plainly, for every 15 times these tests correctly identify a problem, they incorrectly identify a problem a whopping 85 times.

But even if they get it right, the tests simply show an increased risk—not an actual diagnosis. 

Related: Should I get prenatal genetic screening?

NIPS tests do not diagnose a condition 

The tests are meant to be followed up by more invasive diagnostic testing later in pregnancy to confirm the results, which can be prohibitively expensive and come with a risk (albeit slight) of miscarriage. Amniocentesis, a diagnostic test which involves extracting a sample of the amniotic fluid, is usually performed between weeks 15 and 20 of pregnancy, which is past the point where abortions are legal in some states. The miscarriage risk of an amniocentesis test is 0.1% to 0.3%.

More than one-third of pregnant women undergo optional prenatal screening tests in their first trimester, according to the Times. Most insurance companies will cover NIPS testing automatically if you’re over the age of 35.

Related: 10 key things to know if you’re pregnant and 35 or older

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that NIPS testing be offered to all pregnant patients regardless of age or risk of chromosomal abnormality, but every patient has the option to decline.

And though healthcare providers are tasked with explaining that the tests simply highlight a possible heightened risk for a condition and not a definitive diagnosis, many women who undergo NIPS end up making decisions about their pregnancy after a positive result rather than undergoing follow-up diagnostic testing. 

That means plenty of women are having to make tough decisions about whether to carry their pregnancy to term based on incomplete—or potentially false—information. That’s a huge emotional burden to take on.

“The FDA is aware of reports that patients and health care providers have made critical health care decisions based on results from these screening tests alone and without additional confirmatory testing. Specifically, pregnant people have ended pregnancies based only on the results of NIPS tests. Without confirming the results with a diagnostic test, there is no way to know whether the fetus actually had the genetic abnormality reported by the screening test. The FDA is aware of cases where a screening test reported a genetic abnormality and a confirmatory diagnostic test later found that the fetus was healthy.”

These tests also prey on parents’ fears about having a child with a disability. While some genetic disorders can deeply impact quality of life, just because someone may be born with a genetic abnormality or disability doesn’t mean they won’t be able to lead a happy, fulfilling life. 

Related: The grief and gift of mothering a child with Down syndrome

Should you get NIPS testing? 

It may depend on your age, personal health history and family history, so always check with your doctor first. The FDA recommends understanding the benefits and risks of using NIPS tests and speaking with a genetic counselor or another healthcare provider before deciding whether to undergo these tests.

You should also not use the results of NIPS tests alone to make decisions about your pregnancy, warns the FDA. 

It’s also good to be informed about what the results mean.

What does a positive NIPS test result mean?

“A positive screening test result means that the fetus has a higher risk of having a genetic abnormality compared with the average risk. It does not mean that the fetus definitively has a genetic abnormality, or a condition caused by a genetic abnormality,” notes the FDA.

What does a negative NIPS test result mean?

“A negative screening test result means that the fetus has a lower risk of having a genetic abnormality compared with the average risk. It does not rule out the possibility that the fetus has a genetic abnormality, or a condition caused by a genetic abnormality,” notes the FDA.

“The ability of a NIPS test to correctly tell whether a fetus is at risk for a genetic abnormality depends on how common or rare the genetic abnormality is and on underlying risk factors. Disorders caused by a microdeletion (small missing piece of a chromosome) are rare. Because these conditions are so rare, a positive result may be more likely to be from a healthy fetus than one that actually has the reported genetic abnormality.”

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When and how you announce your pregnancy is largely up to you. For instance, you may not want certain people to know—at least yet. You may face emotions due to previous pregnancy loss, or may want to confirm the viability of the pregnancy first with an ultrasound. Keeping things under wraps for a while may be best to avoid discrimination in the workplace, too. Some mothers just go with the flow and don’t want to feel forced to make some grand gesture in a certain time period. There’s really no best time to announce your pregnancy.

“The decision to announce pregnancy differs from mom to mom,” explains Khristee Rich, a childbirth specialist from Connecticut.

Liesel Teen, RN, a labor and delivery nurse from North Carolina, agrees. “There is no right or wrong time—only what feels right for you,” she tells Motherly.

Should you wait for the first trimester to pass before announcing your pregnancy?

That adage of waiting to get through the first trimester isn’t a hard-and-fast rule. 

A majority choose to wait until the end of the first trimester when the risk of miscarriage drops off dramatically. “This makes women more comfortable that when they share their news, they won’t have to go back and share about a loss,” Teen points out. 

“There is more of a movement of women sharing their news early on—even as soon as they find out—so that they don’t have to suffer through a miscarriage alone,” Teen says. “Some might tell close friends and family early on and share more publicly later.”

Related: What to say when your friend has a miscarriage

This could be especially true if you are older and at a higher risk for complications. 

“Some mothers have said to me they were glad that they told family and friends as soon as they knew, even if they miscarried, so that they were supported through the whole process,” Rich notes.

“So many mothers are told not to announce pregnancy until after the first trimester and if they miscarry, they bear this grief and trauma alone. But it can also be hard for some women to know that everyone knows if they lost a baby,” she says. “Alternatively, for some, an unplanned pregnancy can be a trauma, too.”

Not everyone struggles with the timing of a birth announcement. It may be hard to wait, especially if you’ve yearned to be pregnant for quite some time. Or if it’s not your first kid. If you are using a surrogate, you may have more options in terms of timing.

Related: I didn’t wait three months to announce my pregnancy

What to consider before announcing your pregnancy

Here are a few questions to consider:

• How public do you want your pregnancy to be now and in general? 
• Do you want to tell some people first, or some people in person? When you share the news of your pregnancy, if you don’t want it shared publicly or on social media, you need to explicitly tell people this. 
• Do you want to do it now, or wait until you know the sex? 
• Do you want your workplace to know yet? “Sadly, pregnancy discrimination is a real thing in the workplace,” Teen explains. “It might be to your benefit to wait and let your supervisor know first. This might be a reason to keep your announcement off of social media for a while, too.”
• If you’re partnered, how might your partner feel about the announcement and attention? “Make sure you are on the same page about the whole thing,” Teen notes.
• How are you feeling physically? “If you are experiencing severe symptoms, there may be a benefit to telling a few people that are close to you the news so that they can support you during the difficult first trimester,” Teen says.
• Could the reactions of some people, or the feeling of “having” to announce it, cause you unnecessary stress?

Related: 3 questions to ask yourself before you announce your pregnancy at work

How to announce your pregnancy

Just like when you tell others (and who you tell), how you tell them is up to you. 

I’ve seen friends make a cute post on social media to let others know. In a world that’s largely digital, many families opt for this route–especially if it’s just to let people outside of their inner circle know what’s going on.

Related: 10 fun and creative ways to tell your partner ‘I’m pregnant!’

You may want to tell those closer to you in person, or in a one-on-one setting. This is totally acceptable and may give you time to process the other person’s reaction instead of announcing the big news in front of a large gathering.

Your timing is best

Still grappling with when to announce your pregnancy?

“There is no right or wrong time… It is an individual decision. Moms need to pick the time that is right for them, when they are emotionally ready to share the news,” Rich says.

After all, your wellbeing matters the most, especially with a little one in tow.

A version of this story was originally published on April 5, 2022. It has been updated.

Here’s a list of the symptoms you can potentially expect in your first trimester and beyond, including some you’ve definitely heard about… and some you definitely haven’t. 

Early pregnancy symptoms

If you’re seeking clues and hidden signs of pregnancy in the days before you can take a home pregnancy test, here’s what to look out for. 

Common signs of early pregnancy

• Breast changes/soreness/tenderness
• Dizziness
• Fatigue
• Food cravings
• Increased urination
• Nausea 
• Raised basal body temperature

Less common signs of early pregnancy

• Back pain
• Bloating
• Constipation
• Food aversions
• Headaches
• Moodiness
• Nasal congestion
• Spotting/implantation bleeding

Read more: 9 early signs of pregnancy (before a missed period) 

Ectopic pregnancy symptoms

An ectopic pregnancy is defined as the case in which a fertilized egg implants itself anywhere outside of the uterus, most often in the fallopian tube. Because the fallopian tubes are not designed to carry a growing embryo, they are at risk of rupturing if the pregnancy goes undetected. While ectopic pregnancies are rare, they can be dangerous, requiring emergency treatment to manage potential internal bleeding. That’s why it’s so important to understand the specific symptoms that may present with this condition. 

Symptoms may be typical to those experienced in early pregnancy, but may also include the following: 

Common ectopic pregnancy symptoms

• Vaginal bleeding
• Pain in lower abdomen, pelvis and/or lower back
• Dizziness or weakness

If the fallopian tube ruptures, additional symptoms may include

• Sharp lower abdominal pain
• Fainting
• Low blood pressure
• Shoulder pain
• Rectal pressure

If you experience any of these symptoms, seek emergency medical care immediately.

First trimester pregnancy symptoms

Symptoms in the first trimester may be more pronounced versions of the early pregnancy symptoms, as your hormone levels increase over time to support the pregnancy and growing fetus. Morning sickness can be incredibly common—though some lucky ones may never experience it. If that’s you, just know that the absence of morning sickness is not a cause for worry.

Common first trimester pregnancy symptoms

• Back pain
• Bloating
• Breast tenderness
• Fatigue
• Frequent urination
• Milky discharge
• Nasal congestion (rhinitis)
• Nausea and vomiting (morning sickness)
• Nipple and areola darkening
• Sensitivity to smells

Less common first trimester pregnancy symptoms

• Breakouts
• Constipation
• Cramping
• Dizziness
• Heartburn
• Mood swings
• Spotting

Symptoms like cramping and spotting can be somewhat normal in the first trimester, as the uterus grows and expands. If you’re worried, reach out to your birth provider.

Read more: Spotting, fatigue & all that morning sickness: 10 common pregnancy symptoms

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Second trimester pregnancy symptoms

In the second trimester, many pregnant people experience relief from all that fatigue and nausea in the first trimester. You may find you get an energy boost, too! Though watch out for increased back pain and heartburn as baby gets a little bigger. 

Common second trimester pregnancy symptoms

• Back pain
• Bleeding gums
• Bleeding nose
• Congestion
• Fetal movement
• Groin pain
• Headaches
• Heartburn or reflux
• Hemorrhoids
• Linea nigra
• Vaginal discharge

Less common second trimester pregnancy symptoms

• Gas
• Itching
• Spider veins
• Swelling

Read more: 10 sneaky pregnancy symptoms you might not know about 

Third trimester pregnancy symptoms

As you near the home stretch in the third trimester, the list of pregnancy symptoms may get longer. Your body is housing a baby that grows bigger every day, and with that fact comes some new swelling, an increased sense of fullness and bladder pressure—constant bladder pressure. But it’s not all bad news. Those cute, tiny baby hiccups? They never get old. 

Common third trimester pregnancy symptoms

• Baby hiccups
• Backache
• Braxton-Hicks contractions
• Constipation
• Fatigue
• Frequent urination
• Feeling full quickly
• Groin pain
• Heartburn or reflux
• Hemorrhoids
• Itching
• Leg cramps
• Shortness of breath
• Snoring
• Stretch marks
• Swelling
• Vaginal discharge

Less common third trimester pregnancy symptoms

• Carpal tunnel syndrome pain
• Heart rate increase
• Hot flashes
• Insomnia
• Varicose veins
• Vivid dreams

Read more: Pregnant? Here are some surprising facts about each trimester 

Coping with pregnancy symptoms

As you can see, pregnancy comes with a litany of symptoms, ranging from mildly annoying to pretty painful (swelling and back pain, we’re looking at you). 

Most symptoms are just that—symptoms of a normal pregnancy, markers of just how much change your amazing body is going through as you’re growing a new human. But if something you’re experiencing is causing you worry, trust your gut and reach out to your doctor or midwife. When it comes to your and your baby’s health, there are absolutely no silly questions. 

Now’s the time to start tuning into that maternal intuition, mama. It takes practice, but listening to what your body is telling you is always a smart idea. 

Frequently asked questions 

Q. When does morning sickness start?

Morning sickness (also known as nausea and vomiting of pregnancy, or NVP) typically starts around week six, with symptoms peaking around nine weeks. In many cases, morning sickness will start tapering off toward the beginning of the second trimester, around week 14.

Keep reading: When does morning sickness start? 

Q. How soon can I take a pregnancy test?

The more advanced early home pregnancy tests can be used as soon as six days before your missed period (although their accuracy maxes out at 50% to 75%). If you can wait until the day of your missed period, the accuracy of these tests usually hits 99%. Your provider could always run a blood test, which can typically detect pregnancy as early as one week after conception.

Keep reading: What does a faint line mean on your pregnancy test? 

Q. How do I calculate when my baby is due?

Calculating your due date can be done in several ways: using the first day of your last menstrual period, from which you’ll subtract three months, then add 7 days; or using a dating ultrasound, which are often administered transvaginally and allows a technician to measure the size of the embryo and estimate a due date accordingly.

Keep reading: What month will my baby be born? How to calculate your due date 

Q. When should I announce my pregnancy? 

In short, it’s up to you! While traditionally, many pregnant people may choose to wait until the risk of miscarriage significantly decreases after week 13, plenty of others are choosing to announce that they’re expecting earlier, in the hopes of helping to normalize conversations around miscarriage and pregnancy loss. When you decide to announce your pregnancy is completely your decision.

Keep reading: 10 fun and creative ways to tell your partner “I’m pregnant!”

Q. Should I choose an obstetrician or midwife?

Deciding to go with an OB/GYN or midwife depends on your personal circumstances, such as what types of providers have hospital privileges in your area, your own birth philosophy, where you plan to give birth and whether you’re considered potentially high risk for pregnancy complications. Ultimately, it may just come down to simply finding a provider that you feel comfortable with—which is where talking to friends and family members about the birth providers they used can be helpful. 

Keep reading: Should you see a midwife or an obstetrician for your pregnancy & birth?

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The second time around, I know more about the work that is motherhood, which means I’m much more aware of the impact that a child has on life. This pregnancy was planned, but I’m still very anxious about the upcoming changes in my family.

And though I know all of that is healthy and normal, there is pressure—spoken, unspoken, imagined, obvious—that suggests any feeling about pregnancy other than excitement is synonymous with ingratitude. 

We often hear people wonder about the possibility of regretting not expanding their family—the guilt about being ‘one and done’. But what happens when you do decide to have more children and the anxiety and overwhelm start to trickle in? When you’re haunted by questioning statements such as, Am I making a huge mistake? Or…

My marriage already feels so strained since having a child, is having two going to make it worse?

Where am I going to find the time or energy for another child?

Will I ever be able to focus at work?

How will I divide my energy fairly?

Why am I fixing something that isn’t broken? One child is finally feeling manageable. 

Anticipating the challenges of balancing two children, work, marriage, household responsibilities and well, life—I often spend hours awake at night wondering how and when this is all supposed to happen.

What is pregnancy ambivalence?

Though it might be taboo to discuss, ambivalence in pregnancy is very common. Studies looking at pregnancy ambivalence, though limited, suggest that we don’t typically subscribe to one reaction in pregnancy or the other—but that our feelings towards pregnancy oscillate at any given moment. 

Ambivalence in pregnancy can be understood through a variety of measures, but I think a helpful way to understand it was described through one study as “going back and forth” between strongly positive and strongly negative reactions to pregnancy. It couldn’t be further from a lack of emotions—instead, it feels more like a rollercoaster of negative and positive emotions.

This is consistent with the concept that “two things can be true.” We hold both positive feelings and negative feelings toward pregnancy, without having one feeling be “truer” or more consistent than the other. Sometimes there are days where my emotions are positive and excited, other days, when parenting a toddler feels challenging, I am filled with dread and insecurity about what is to come.

In my personal experience, this has certainly been the case over the past months of my second pregnancy. Knowing what I know now about parenthood, I certainly have my fears—specifically around sleep loss, identity loss, financial impact, fears about the impact of parenthood on work, and of course, concerns about how a new family member will shift our current family dynamic. 

What the research shows about family expansion

In examining all of this, I wasn’t only interested in researching pregnancy ambivalence but also the reality of how it feels once you’re on the other side—once your family has expanded. Are bigger families happier? When I took some time to look at the data behind family expansion and happiness, the findings were all over the place; often conflicting. There is data that supports the idea that women are not more satisfied with more than one child versus one. Some analysis suggests that happiness rates are lowest among parents of preschool-aged children, but improves over time.

Another study shows that some men are happier with more than one child, while women are happiest with one and progressively unhappier with more. 

Perhaps the most disheartening analysis of existing data suggests a decline in marital health which worsens with each additional child, suggesting that the time and freedom it takes to account for the new addition is likely withdrawn from the couples’ alone time. 

And yet, I feel this biological pull toward expanding our family—even though I know logically, practically and emotionally it is going to be difficult. I know in my heart it is right for my family, but my mind is just trying to solve for practicality. 

How to cope with pregnancy ambivalence

In moments of doubt, I always turn to other mothers. In particular, I spoke with several mothers who experienced this transition from one to two children recently and are still in the adjustment phase. Here are some of the most common anecdotal experiences they shared, especially as it relates to the first few months.

1. Don’t be surprised by feeling rage or resentment toward your toddler when the baby is born. 

This may happen for reasons which are largely biologically based, like wanting and needing to protect a newborn. I’ve been told that the intensity of these feelings dissipates after a few months, but that the guilt for having those feelings at all is hard to manage. 

2. Don’t be surprised if you resent the impact of the baby on your relationships.

Contrary (or perhaps in addition to point number one), there is a longing for one-on-one time with your toddler and the ability to be present. It can often feel like the baby is the source of conflict between you and your toddler, and it’s hard not to feel like things were easier before the baby joined the family.

3. Don’t be surprised if you really resent your partner. 

This one came as no surprise to me after my experience with baby number one, but the mental load of managing two or more children takes some serious getting used to. It also takes frequent communication, delegation and reorganization.

4. Your patience will feel limited in the beginning. 

I heard from almost everyone I spoke with that they felt an intense lack of patience and warmth in the early months, due to overall exhaustion. I was reassured that over time, as sleep restores some semblance of normalcy and routines start to settle, patience starts to feel progressively more attainable. 

5. The guilt is real—and challenging. 

It’s hard to hear that I should prepare for a level of guilt that I may have never previously experienced, but it’s also comforting to know that it feels like a universal, or at least, very common experience. One common example of guilt during this adjustment is feeling like neither child is getting good or sufficient attention. Hearing that this experience was very common across the board is a good reminder that these feelings are normal, but that doesn’t make them true. 

I feel compelled to add that almost all of these experiences were followed by “but it gets better”. Plus, plenty of reminders that seeing the children together brings an overwhelming feeling of love. 

Big change takes time to process

Sometimes when ambivalence arises, the most comforting thought is knowing that having doubts is a completely healthy and appropriate way of processing and planning for change that is inevitable.

For now, I am trying to enjoy the months I have left with my son as my only child, and really savor the long stretches of sleep which will be (temporarily) compromised. Becoming a parent was the most difficult challenge of my life so far, but I am stronger for it. I am looking forward to seeing the ways that I grow emotionally as my family expands. 

So mama, if you’re reading this and you’re nervous, scared or ambivalent, just know you’re not alone. Know that it doesn’t mean you’re not equipped to handle this challenge. There are certainly parenting seasons that are more challenging than others, but we’ll get the hang of it. We always do. 

Sources

Balbo N, Arpino B. The Role of Family Orientations in Shaping the Effect of Fertility on Subjective Well-being: A Propensity Score Matching Approach. Demography. 2016;53(4):955-978. doi:10.1007/s13524-016-0480-z 

McFall SL, Garrington C (Eds.). Early findings from the first wave of the UK’s household longitudinal study. 2011. Colchester: Institute for Social and Economic Research, University of Essex.

Miller WB, Barber JS, Gatny HH. The effects of ambivalent fertility desires on pregnancy risk in young women in the USA. Popul Stud (Camb). 2013;67(1):25-38. doi:10.1080/00324728.2012.738823

​​Twenge JM, Campbell WK, Foster CA. Parenthood and marital satisfaction: a meta‐analytic review. Journal of marriage and family. 2003 Aug;65(3):574-83. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00574.x

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Specifically, 7-year-old children did better on challenging tasks that demanded sustained attention when their mothers took twice the recommended amount of choline in pregnancy, according to a study in Journal of the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends pregnant women get 450 mg per day and lactating women get 550 mg per day, respectively, according to a spokesperson with ACOG.

Sounds simple, right? But most prenatal vitamins don’t have choline in them at all, or enough of it.

“Choline is bulky [like calcium], and therefore it’s hard to add to a prenatal… the pill would be too gigantic to swallow,” Taylor C. Wallace, PhD, an adjunct professor at George Mason University, tells Motherly.

Research on how critical choline is has only just started “booming” over the last five to seven years, Dr. Wallace adds.

Current recommendations need an update

Authors of the study say that the recommended intake doesn’t meet the needs of babies when they are developing in utero.

“Our findings suggest population-wide benefits of adding choline to a standard prenatal vitamin regimen,” says Barbara Strupp, PhD, a Cornell University professor and co-senior author of the study, in a statement.

ACOG has not been involved in any efforts to promote the inclusion of choline in prenatal vitamins, and does not have an official position on the inclusion of choline in prenatal vitamins, the spokesperson tells Motherly.

Food sources of choline

You can get choline in egg yolks, fish, poultry, lean red meat, legumes, nuts and cruciferous veggies. But it’s not in most prenatal vitamins, and more than 90% of expectant mothers consume less than the recommended amount, the authors say.

Scientists have studied choline for decades and shown that getting ample amounts of it while pregnant produces long-term cognitive benefits for offspring. It can help with attention and memory, and can be protective against cognitive adversities caused by everything from prenatal stress and autism to fetal alcohol exposure and epilepsy, the researchers noted.

Choline in pregnancy boosts cognition in children

As part of the study, women ate a prepared diet with a specified amount of choline throughout their third trimesters. Half consumed 480 mg choline per day, and the other half consumed a total intake of 930 mg choline per day. Their children—20 of them—were tested when they were 7 years old.

Kids of moms who had 480 mg/day showed a decline in accuracy in terms of giving sustained attention from the beginning to end of a task. Those from the 930 mg/day group maintained a high level of accuracy throughout the task.

The findings—the first to follow up on choline results in school-aged children—support a previous study that reported on benefits during infancy, and another report that touted increasing intake among expectant mothers. Wallace noted that more than 40 studies in rodents have shown lasting effects of choline when mothers take it.

“By showing that the beneficial effects of prenatal supplementation endure into childhood, these findings illustrate a role for prenatal choline in programming the course of child cognitive development,” Richard Canfield, PhD, a senior research associate at Cornell and co-senior and corresponding author on the paper, said in a statement.

“And because the ability to sustain attention in challenging situations is critical to nearly all areas of cognitive performance, the cumulative impact of improving sustained attention is likely to be substantial,” Dr. Canfield adds.

Sharon Palmer, a registered dietitian nutritionist from California, believes more research on choline is needed. While choline is beneficial in many ways, there is some research showing too much could increase our risk for heart disease.

“I recommend getting the recommended amount and not exceeding it until we learn more about this balance in our diets,” Palmer notes.

Take a second peek at your prenatal

The study is a good reminder to take a deep dive into choosing a prenatal. And to talk to your doctor about supplements.

Wallace notes that choline isn’t the only nutrient prenatal vitamins often don’t contain enough of.

Magnesium and calcium are also too bulky for prenatals but “very critical nutrients for both the mother and infant,” Dr. Wallace says.

“Magnesium is involved in over 600 enzymatic reactions in the body and both nutrients are under-consumed relative to recommended amounts by many women,” he adds.

If you’re concerned you’re not getting enough of a specific nutrient from your prenatal vitamin or your diet, talk to your doctor or a dietitian or nutritionist about how to maximize intake safely during pregnancy. 

Sources:

Bell CC, Aujla J (2016) Prenatal Vitamins Deficient in Recommended Choline Intake for Pregnant Women. J Fam Med Dis Prev 2:048. doi:10.23937/2469-5793/1510048

Bahnfleth, CL, Strupp, BJ, Caudill, MA, Canfield, RL. Prenatal choline supplementation improves child sustained attention: A 7-year follow-up of a randomized controlled feeding trial. FASEB J. 2022; 36:e22054. doi:10.1096/fj.202101217R

Caudill MA, Strupp BJ, Muscalu L, Nevins JEH, Canfield RL. Maternal choline supplementation during the third trimester of pregnancy improves infant information processing speed: a randomized, double-blind, controlled feeding study. The FASEB Journal. 2018. 32: 2172-2180. doi:10.1096/fj.201700692RR

Choline during pregnancy impacts children’s sustained attention. Jan. 3, 2022.

Choline: Fact sheet for health professionals. National Institutes for Health Office of Dietary Supplements. March 29, 2021

Korsmo HW, Jiang X, Caudill MA. Choline: Exploring the Growing Science on Its Benefits for Moms and Babies. Nutrients. 2019;11(8):1823. doi:10.3390/nu11081823

Schwarzenberg SJ, Georgieff MK; COMMITTEE ON NUTRITION. Advocacy for Improving Nutrition in the First 1000 Days to Support Childhood Development and Adult Health. Pediatrics. 2018 Feb;141(2):e20173716. doi:10.1542/peds.2017-3716

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Did you know that the moment a fertilized egg implants into your uterus and establishes a pregnancy, you are actually already considered 2 weeks into your 40-week pregnancy? 

You may consider that good news, because it means that by the time of your missed period, you are likely about 4 to 5 weeks into the countdown, which means you’re that much closer to meeting your baby. But the less-great news? That fact doesn’t necessarily mean you get to skip some or all of those un-fun early pregnancy symptoms (morning sickness, we’re looking at you). Luckily, things start improving in the second trimester. 

Surprising facts about the first trimester of pregnancy

1. The nose knows: You’re now a super-smeller: You might now find the scent of your favorite lotion nauseating, or decide you need to throw away your dryer sheets because you can no longer stand the smell. Biologically speaking, this change is believed to be a way for pregnant people to avoid ingesting potentially unsafe foods and as a motivator for them to seek out a clean, safe environment. 

2. Waving hello: By the end of the first trimester (or first 12 weeks) of pregnancy, your baby is still teeny (about 3 inches long), but their fingers and toes have already formed.  

3. Show and tell: In the first trimester, you may look pregnant at night, then wake up looking like your pre-pregnancy self again. Hormonal changes during pregnancy slow digestion, often leading to gas and bloating. That bloating is responsible for the protruding lower belly that many pregnant people have toward the evening of each day during the first trimester. It can trick us into thinking we may be starting to show.  Alas, it’s probably just gas, my friends. Those darn hormones are always messing with us!

Weird facts about the second trimester of pregnancy

1. Smooth moves: OK, friends. What is an article talking about interesting pregnancy facts if we don’t talk about poop?! By the end of the second trimester, your baby’s first bowel movement, called meconium, will have formed in its intestines, where it will patiently wait to be passed until the first 24 to 48 hours after birth. 

2. Go with the flow: I guess if we talked about poop, we should also talk about pee. Although baby’s first urine production happens in the first trimester, it’s early in the second trimester that urine production increases quite a bit. The weird (and maybe a bit gross?) part is that the fluid inside the womb that surrounds the baby, called the amniotic fluid, is almost entirely made of urine by about the 20th week of pregnancy. (Yeah, we didn’t know either.) The baby proceeds to swallow and then pee out that fluid in a continuous cycle until they are born. 

3. The sound of music: You’ve likely heard that fetuses can hear from inside of the womb. And by the late second trimester of pregnancy, babies can actually respond to sound and voices. Studies involving introducing sound to fetuses in the womb and observing their reaction with ultrasound have actually shown that fetuses can cry in response to those sounds during the second trimester. While they don’t make noise, babies perform the other physical facial behaviors observed during crying.  

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Fun facts about the third trimester of pregnancy

1. Milk mama: Your breasts may begin leaking milk! Yes, you read that correctly. A special type of early milk known as colostrum may begin coming out of your breasts before your baby is even born. Your body is forming the pathways needed to start creating milk for your infant once born. 

2. Baby bubbles: Babies can get the hiccups during the third trimester of pregnancy. Hiccups are related to the movement of the diaphragm, which is also largely responsible for humans’ ability to breathe. During the 3rd trimester, fetuses start to practice breathing by moving their diaphragm, so their ability to have hiccups naturally follows. It’s pretty cute to imagine your little one hanging out in your uterus with the hiccups, right? You may feel their hiccups as rhythmic little bumps against your belly in a predictable, consistent pattern.  

3. Size up: By the end of your 3rd trimester, your feet may have grown an entire shoe size. What’s even more wild is that your feet may be permanently changed by the end of your first pregnancy. The increase in shoe size is thought to be related to the hormone relaxin, produced by the pregnant body to help facilitate the birth process. Since relaxin does not discriminate, it affects ligaments all over the body, including those in the foot arch. As these ligaments relax, the arch may flatten and the foot may gain length, resulting in a likely permanent change to shoe size.  

Bonus round: Wild facts about the fourth trimester

In the first three months after your baby is born, known as the fourth trimester, some pretty wild happenings also take place as your body heals after birth and adjusts to caring for a newborn.

1. Growing pains: You will probably experience significant cramping while you are breastfeeding your infant. Breastfeeding is often depicted as a beautiful, peaceful, effortless process that occurs seamlessly after the birth of a baby. While that can be true for some, it’s also true that breastfeeding is work—and can be painful. In the early days, one challenging aspect is the uterine cramping that occurs after birth to help the uterus shrink down to its pre-pregnancy size. This painful cramping is a result of the release of oxytocin when an infant latches to the breast. 

2. Snuggle up: Skin-to-skin contact isn’t all about your baby. The practice of holding your naked (or diaper-clad) baby against your bare chest is incredibly beneficial for babies. But the mother’s response to holding her baby skin-to-skin is pretty amazing on a sciency-level (yes, that’s a technical term). The oxytocin released by your body in response to that physical, skin-to-skin contact is what allows mothers and babies to recognize each other’s unique scents. Of course, baby gains tons of benefits from this type of contact as well. For example, mother’s breasts have been shown to change in temperature based on the infant’s temperature needs, and skin-to-skin can help regulate an infant’s heart rate, breathing rate, and blood sugar levels. 

3. Chain reaction: After your baby is born, you could develop an allergy to them! Well, sort of… Let’s clarify. There is a small protein that some people carry on their red blood cells, while others do not. This is called the Rh factor. If a person without Rh factor carries a baby who does have Rh, the pregnant person can develop an immune response against Rh. What does this mean? Although a mismatch in Rh between mother and baby is unlikely to affect a person’s first pregnancy in which the incompatibility exists, your postpartum body will be busy developing an immune response to what it perceived as a foreign invader, so the next time you are pregnant with an Rh-positive baby could cause problems. Luckily, with appropriate prenatal care, these issues are easily foreseen and can be addressed accordingly to keep mother and subsequent baby healthy. 

Pregnancy is a wild and wonderful ride. If you have questions or concerns about any of the changes your body is going through, or if something seems not normal, talk to your care provider.

Sources:

Costumbrado J, Mansour T, Ghassemzadeh S. Rh Incompatibility. Updated 2021 Aug 27. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing. 

Department of Health and Human Services. Office on Women’s Health. Recovering from birth. 2018.

Dikici O, Muluk NB, Şahin E, Altintoprak N. Effects of pregnancy on olfaction. ENT Updates. 2017 Aug 1;7(2):104-7. doi:10.2399/jmu.2017002009

Reissland N, Francis B, Mason J, Lincoln K. Do facial expressions develop before birth?. PLoS One. 2011 Aug 31;6(8):e24081. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0024081

Segal NA, Boyer ER, Teran-Yengle P, Glass NA, Hillstrom HJ, Yack HJ. Pregnancy leads to lasting changes in foot structure. Am J Phys Med Rehabil. 2013;92(3):232-240. doi:10.1097/PHM.0b013e31827443a9

Underwood M, Gilbert W & Sherman M. Amniotic Fluid: Not Just Fetal Urine Anymore. J Perinatol 25, 341–348 (2005). doi:10.1038/sj.jp.7211290

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